Friday, November 18, 2011

Where's my cape?

Dear Sperm Donor,

If I'm supposed to be sympathetic to your lack of motivation to go to the gym, think again.

I was up and showered, with laundry sorted and started before you picked your head out of the pillows. I was out of the house to get winter clothes for the spawn and to restock the fridge before you finished your first cuppa Joe.

I shopped for, transported, unloaded and put away $260 worth of groceries while you managed to go get your haircut.

Before you got home, I had started more laundry, cleaned the spoiled food out of the basement freezer and made a shopping list for the wholesale club.

You came in, made yourself a "snack" in at least three stages, while I cleaned up the debris you & the spawn had left all over the coffee and dining tables.

The family room is a disaster; the house needs vacuuming; you have sleeping bags and propane tanks that need to be put away; it's your turn to clean the litter box; there are piles of your crap that need to find a home other than the end table. So if you wonder why I'm pissed that you're sitting your lazy ass on the sofa watching the idiot box, that would be why.

Either get your ass to the gym and out of my sight, or get it in gear to help clean your home.


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