Dear Captain AssClown,
When you ask me why I do something for my job a certain way - in this case, work from printed drawings rather than electronic files - and then roll your eyes at my answer, it doesn't matter that your mouth SAYS you don't think I'm stupid, because your facial expressions and body language overrule it.
For the record, I'd LOVE to see you try to compare two disparate sets of floor plans - one C sized and the other D sized - on a 17" laptop screen without wanting to stab kittens. Knock yourself out, Sparky, I've got a cocktail and a comfy chair for the show.
In the mean time, kiss my shiny, fat, white ass. This is why you never get laid...at least, not by me.
Love,
DT
Friday, November 18, 2011
Well, look at that...
...the weekend is gone and the sperm donor managed to contribute nothing at all to the smooth running of our household. Not an emptied dishwasher, not a vacuumed floor, not a good god-damned thing.
What he DID manage to do was fritter away Saturday morning doing gods-know-what (probably sudoku) on his laptop, then spend the next seven hours helping someone ELSE with stuff around THEIR house. And I can't even be well and truly pissed at him for Sunday, because he spent the entire day doing things for my elderly parents. Well, I can be pissed that he felt compelled to re-mow the lawn that my brother mowed after work on Tuesday, because there's no fucking way the lawn needed it already.
There have also been what I refer to as "boating noises". I haven't mentioned this before, but SD is completely obsessed with boating all summer long. It's not like his boat is anything to inspire envy in the neighbors...or anyone, for that matter. But it's his, and it's paid for, and it's cheap to run and it's something of his dad's that he loves. The downside to the whole boat issue is that he would happily spend every nice summer weekend day on it, at the expense of those chores that keep a family/household running smoothly.
What he DID manage to do was fritter away Saturday morning doing gods-know-what (probably sudoku) on his laptop, then spend the next seven hours helping someone ELSE with stuff around THEIR house. And I can't even be well and truly pissed at him for Sunday, because he spent the entire day doing things for my elderly parents. Well, I can be pissed that he felt compelled to re-mow the lawn that my brother mowed after work on Tuesday, because there's no fucking way the lawn needed it already.
There have also been what I refer to as "boating noises". I haven't mentioned this before, but SD is completely obsessed with boating all summer long. It's not like his boat is anything to inspire envy in the neighbors...or anyone, for that matter. But it's his, and it's paid for, and it's cheap to run and it's something of his dad's that he loves. The downside to the whole boat issue is that he would happily spend every nice summer weekend day on it, at the expense of those chores that keep a family/household running smoothly.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The Happiest Place on Earth?
No wait - that's Dizzy Land, right? We did not do The Mouse - I flatly refuse. It seems like too much the marketing machine to me, trading on impressionable little kids and their unable-to-say-no parents. But I digress...
We took the crotchfruit on vacation for his birthday last month. It was a Production, orchestrated by the Sperm Donor with me dragging along less than willingly. I was sucking it up for the sake of the child, since I don't like crowds, amusement parks, rides...shit like that. But the spawn was excited, so I put on my happy face and hit the tiki bar by the pool whenever I could.
We took the crotchfruit on vacation for his birthday last month. It was a Production, orchestrated by the Sperm Donor with me dragging along less than willingly. I was sucking it up for the sake of the child, since I don't like crowds, amusement parks, rides...shit like that. But the spawn was excited, so I put on my happy face and hit the tiki bar by the pool whenever I could.
Tools
Dear Sperm Donor,
In case dragging you upstairs to see the fruits of my purging-cleaning-reorganizing labor over the holiday weekend wasn't a hint, I figured telling you dead on that I was DONE with living in a shithole full of clutter would do the trick. To be abso-fucking-lutely sure, I told you that it would be a great idea if you and the crotchfruit cleaned up the room you sleep in that used to be his, and for you to clean up the top of your dresser that you insist live in public space. Because when I'm DONE, I'm DONE - and I might just take it into my head to extend my purging-cleaning-reorganizing energy all over your shit.
Since you spent the holiday weekend partying with your brother-in-law while I busted my hump on the upstairs, I figure my request for one day per weekend dedicated to getting this shithole in order wasn't, well...out of order. How convenient of you to find a weekend's worth of shit to do at other people's houses instead.
In case dragging you upstairs to see the fruits of my purging-cleaning-reorganizing labor over the holiday weekend wasn't a hint, I figured telling you dead on that I was DONE with living in a shithole full of clutter would do the trick. To be abso-fucking-lutely sure, I told you that it would be a great idea if you and the crotchfruit cleaned up the room you sleep in that used to be his, and for you to clean up the top of your dresser that you insist live in public space. Because when I'm DONE, I'm DONE - and I might just take it into my head to extend my purging-cleaning-reorganizing energy all over your shit.
Since you spent the holiday weekend partying with your brother-in-law while I busted my hump on the upstairs, I figure my request for one day per weekend dedicated to getting this shithole in order wasn't, well...out of order. How convenient of you to find a weekend's worth of shit to do at other people's houses instead.
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